God Hates Everything

Wow it’s hot, God must hate us.  It seems no matter where I look I see things telling me what god hates.  Depending what religion you are he hates everyone else.  Since there are people of all faiths then if we took everyones perspective and canceled one hate with one love we would have God hates Muslims, Christian and Jews.  Hmm.

I guess that means God hates me.  God hates you, God pretty much hates everything and everyone.  If you have ever felt hate you know it’s the kind of feeling people act on.  People kill things they hate.  No I know we are talking about a being that is above all of this right?

Hold the phone the holy texts all talk about Gods wrath.  In fact I swear I remember reading something about God getting all mad and killing everything except the things on a big wooden boat made by Mr. M.  Did I imagine that or did it really happen?  I’m right right?

OK now if I was a God, and trust me to my dogs I am a god.  If I hated everything and I had the power to wipe it all out and start over I would.

Maybe god doesn’t actually hate homosexuals.  If he did he would probably flood a few cities, at least that’s what I would do if I was a God filled with hate and wrath.

I’m not into being hated, so I figured I better go check out if god hates me.  I figured I would start with the Ten Commandments.  You know I’m all about Commandments so I dove right into this one.  I hit the bottom of the shallow end pretty hard.  The confuse the hell out of me to be honest.  I got stuck on Commandment #3.

“You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.” (Exodus 20:2–17)

But now I get it.  God Hates us all because we are morons.  You see he only gave us ten laws to fallow, and we all busted this one.  I swear I know you guys have idols in your churches, I have seen them.  Wow thanks, God doesn’t hate gays he hates all of us because some asshole put an idol up in his house and everyone prays to it, nice, good going guys.

Yah then I got to farther down the list and I realized it’s not just the idols it’s the poor people too.  I blame the poor, I see poor people working on Sunday all the time, no wonder God is so pissed off at us all.  Wait then I realized it’s not just the poor it’s the rich too, God hates the rich because it clearly says way way down at the end God hates rich people.  OK technically is say you have to work for 6 days and rest on the 7^th.  Almost all the rich people I know take 2 day weekends.  It also says that “…you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns” all are supposed to rest.

And then bam light a lightning bolt from heaven it hit me.  God hates us because we don’t have slaves.  How can we make sure our slaves rest on the Sabbath if we don’t have any slaves.  God wants us to have slaves so we can make sure they rest.

I guess if you believe in the Ten Commandments and you pay someone to work for you on the Sabbath you are breaking one of those Commandments at the very least.  I will have to do more research but I am pretty sure that’s a mortal sin and that means God Hates you.  Wow, we’re screwed, no wonder God hates everyone.  I’m taking my money our of oil and investing in umbrellas.